Family photos

A Check List to Prepare for the Annual Family Holiday Ordeal, Oops, I Mean Photo Shoot

By Susan Dunn, MA Clinical Psychology, The EQ CoachT

It's a big tradition for many of us, whether the 'family' to be photographed includes you, your spouse and 4 kids; you in all your glory; you and your animal companion; you and your partner; or you and a large extended family. Plan ahead and it will all go better. Make a checklist. I will use "Christmas." Please substitute the appropriate holiday.

1. Find your photographer.

You may have seen a photo in someone's house you like. Or ask the local yenta or a friend or your coach for a recommendation. Or get on the Internet and read and look. Here, for instance is what JustImagineInc offers: "What we create: Soft and natural photographs in comfortable settings; a choice of media for finished prints; and an artist's approach to photo enhancement using a combination of technical skill and aesthetic vision to create portraits to cherish for years to come." View the photographer's portfolio. If you see what you like and read, book it! Decide on color, black and white, sepia or art-ography. Here's some photo-art that could give you a really exceptional holiday card.

2. Check everyone's schedule and book the appointment.

Then write it on everyone's calendar. Do this early before the holiday social calendar heats up. 10 am is a good time of day to choose. If you have a wide range of hair colors and skin tones, advise the photographer and ask her what colors would look best. Check on backgrounds and settings available. If you have nearly white-haired toddlers, as I did, advise the photographer because they need special backgrounds.

3. Decide on a theme and get it coordinated.

Maybe everyone's going to wear a white shirt and khakis. Maybe it's red and green and buttons and bows. No theme at all is fine too, except "dressed up," but I'm thinking of the card I got where one child was in a burgundy sweatshirt with tennies, and the other in black Mary Jane's with a crimson red velvet dress. Reds, particularly, must be carefully supervised.

4. Get the clothes ready.

You may have to buy some. Get the rest cleaned, pressed and laid out in a separate place so they don't get messed up or worn by accident. Unless you're a regular churchgoing family or plan a barefoot shot, you may need to get the children dress shoes; this can make or break your photo. However, you don't have to spend much. The camera doesn't know Saks from Target from the Thrift Shop. Remember to get accessories, like hair bows and socks.

5. Book grooming appointments for your two-legged and four-legged friends.

Hair cuts, hair styling, nails, and for the pets -- special grooming appointments. Plan this just right, so no one looks like a baby bird.

6. A week before, go over expectations with everyone.

This includes positive attitudes, who's to do what, who washes whose hair and dresses whom, when to be where and what to be wearing, so everyone knows what to do when it's time to man the battle stations. Put someone in charge of watching the kids once dressed, if you can. A sip of red Kool-Aid, a piece of warm chocolate candy or a nice mud puddle, and it's back to square one. Oh, and you do have auxiliary outfits on hand for everyone, don't you, because it'll happen. Take a full set with you. It ain't over till the fat lady sings.

7. The 24 hours before ...

Make sure everyone gets a good night's sleep, and there's no sugar, blueberries or chocolate milk for breakfast. Of course you will have planned this around naps, so everyone's rested. You know what will make each person, including you, best able to tolerate the, oops, I mean enjoy, the experience. Take Celesa out and run her around the block a few times. Sit and read quietly with Reagan.

8. Muster ...

At the allotted time, everyone gets moving and does what they're supposed to do. Then move quickly to the car before the soufflé drops.

9. Once at the photographers, there's still work to do.

Someone must be in charge of watching the kids and the dog because there's a whole new environment to tear a dress on, or to trip over, cry and be fat-lipped about. Plan to appease little ones, because if they have a tantrum, they'll end up blotchy and puffy-eyed. It's only just this once. But don't do it with candy; it will get all over their mouth, hands, and outfit.

10. Work with and for the photographer.

Good as the photographer may be, you may be more observant, and you certainly know your kids and puppy dog better. Be aware of the backgrounds and settings she's using and be alert for a coffee cup she doesn't see on the table, or the unsightly plant in the garden when 2' to the left is sheer beauty. Know that strobe light bouncing off #1 son's blond head is going to be a disaster, and that #2 son really looks cutest when he's not smiling. Check the kids' parts, see what's in their hands, who's got a shirttail hanging out, or a collar sticking up, and warn her to wait out Brittney's goofy grin and then the real smile will come. Work your EQ program. Don't make losing your cool part of the holiday photo tradition. Hey, how long can one hour be ... and you'll have the memory for a lifetime.

One final recommendation: remember operant conditioning. My 3 boys, one of whom was married to me, hated getting their pictures taken, so I planned a really fun activity immediately afterward, so that would be paired with the memory for the next year.

 

©Susan Dunn, MA Clinical Psychology, The EQ Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc , coaching, distance learning courses, The EQ Learning LabT, and The EQ eBook Library - http://www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary.html . For photo art and gifts, try JustImagineInc, http://www.justimagineinc.com

 

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